


Emergency Contact

by rayofsun936



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Multi, Non-Linear Narrative, Open to Interpretation, POV Azumane Asahi, Queerplatonic Relationships, Romance, Sick Fic, Some Humor, Unreliable Narrator, Unresolved Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26998531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayofsun936/pseuds/rayofsun936
Summary: Nishinoya has dated fourteen different people since graduating high school. Asahi was there for him after each one.He declares to be number fifteen and promises sixteen will never happen. Because unlike the others, he understands. He will never give Yuu the ultimatum they each left him with.But when Asahi arrives at the hospital and seeshimat Yuu's bedside, he can't help but think the others were right.(Asanoya + Tanaka angst sick fic.)
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Nishinoya Yuu & Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Nishinoya Yuu/Other(s), Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	1. Rushing Trafic (8)

**Author's Note:**

> I thought this was going to be a simple and short one shot. And then my fingers slipped. Oops

Asahi wills the traffic to go faster, needing to have reached his destination yesterday. Its rush hour on a Friday morning, leaving him with little hope of going faster than five miles an hour.

He debates if running to his destination will get him there faster than by car. But it’s raining cats and dogs outside, decreasing visibility, increasing a chance for an accident to happen. And Asahi doesn’t need to get into an accident. It would be counterproductive. So he resigns to inching his way along the highway with an exhausted sigh.

He’s been driving nonstop throughout the night to reach the hospital near Yuu’s current filming site. Trying his best to not let his imagination run wild in how hurt he is. All he knows is that Yuu’s hurt enough for Ennoshita to call emergency services. Leaving so many possibilities on how hurt Yuu could be. 

What if Yuu loses and arm? Or a leg? Or paralyzed himself and can never walk again! Or he burnt himself trying another fire stunt. Maybe he poked his eye out and can’t see! What if he poked his eye out so deep it hit his brain and now he can’t talk!!

He wishes Yamaguchi gave him more information than: “Nishinoya got hurt. Ennoshita went with him in the ambulance towards Kansai General Hospital.” Asahi would demand more information, but he is very adamant about no texting and driving. Even if the car isn’t moving over half the time.

Not for the first time Asahi wishes Yuu didn’t chose such a dangerous job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one is short. The next one is longer. I promise.
> 
> Next Chapter: Falling Gracefully


	2. Falling Gracefully (1)

“I’ve decided to be a stunt man!” Nishinoya declares out of nowhere as they walk down the street to pick up Tanaka, to celebrate him getting his AA degree in business management.

“What?! What about volleyball? You Love volleyball!”

“I do! And I’m gonna finish out this season Asahi, don’t worry.” Nishinoya flips himself into a cartwheel. “But as a stunt man I have so much more to learn!” He lands into a back bend before straightening up.

He must have been talking to Ennoshita and Yamaguchi about the world of film industry.

“And it’s perfect because I already know how to fall cause of volleyball and when I become a stuntman, I’ll learn Cooler ways to do it! Cooler than Rolling Thunder!”

Asahi sees the bruises that line Nishinoya’s arms. Even though he’s a nationally ranked Libero, he still throws himself into his craft.

“And I’m having Shouyou send me videos on how to fly like him. This way I’ll be a double threat! Everyone will be falling all over themselves to hire me!”

Nishinoya’s fingertips brush against a tree branch at a significantly higher point than his official listed height in volleyball magazines.

“You tell Tanaka about this big plan of yours?” Asahi teases.

“Of course! Who do you think I am Asahi? A looser friend?!”

They arrive at the Tanakas and Nishinoya opens the door like he lives there.

“Yo! Ryuu!! You ready?”

“In a minuet bro! Gotta choose the right shirt for the occasion!”

“Ryuu! Dude! We’re going to the park! Just pick one already!”

Nishinoya disappears somewhere deep in the house. Asahi stays at the entry way, waiting for them.

“Hey Asahi, nice to see you again! It’s good to know someone will be babysitting those two knuckleheads.” Asahi turns to the voice and sees Saeko leaning against the kitchen doorway.

“Hi Saeko,” he says as he waves in a greeting towards her. “Um, I’ll do my best.” He starts getting nervous at the way Saeko is staring him down. Luckily Nishinoya and Tanaka run past them.

“I call shot gun!”

“Bro! Let Asahi sit shot gun.”

“What!? Why?”

“Because he’s bigger than your midget ass.”

“Excuse me!!! I’ll have you know I am now 162.9 centimeters!”

“Oh _really_?! With or _without_ your hair up?!” A flop follows Tanaka’s exaggerated mockery and the sounds of a scuffle start.

“I’m counting on you to watch over them Asahi. They got something special.” He’s thrown a bit by Saeko’s statement.

“Of course,” he replies automatically. Why wouldn’t he keep an eye on them? He doesn’t have time to interpret her statement further because she walks past him out the door and starts yelling at the duo.

“Will you two boneheads save it for the park!? Ma’s gonna be pissed when she finds out you destroyed her flower garden again!?” The scuffling stops as the sound of the car’s doors open and close.

“Common Asahi! Hurry up! I want to claim the monkey bars before it gets crowded!” Nishinoya shouts, hanging halfway out of the passenger window.

“Yah Asahi! Hurry up! We need Noya to fall off as many different ways as possible to put in his professional portfolio!”

He takes that as his que get moving and jogs over to the car. He finagles his way into the back seat and after securing his seatbelt he sees Nishinoya and Tanaka looking back at him with faint smears of dirt on their cheeks and grass leaves stuck to their shirts.

“Um, we would get there faster if you started the car Tanaka.” Their eyes simultaneously go bug eyed before turning around with shouts of laughter as Tanaka reeves the engine. Saeko waves them good-bye with a cluster of flowers in her hand.

She’s right, this is something worth protecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Heartbeat


	3. Hearbeat (9)

Three miles and forty-five minutes later Asahi finally makes it to the hospital’s emergency room. His umbrella does a decent job of keeping him dry as he makes his way over. The smell of cleaning supplies and antiseptic become stronger the further he makes his way it into the building.

He asks the emergency room for Yuu’s current whereabouts and then follows the map they provide him to the ICU.

He greets the receptionist outside the locked double doors leading into the unit.

“Hi, I’m Azumane and I’m here to see Nishinoya Yuu.”

“Nishinoya Yuu… Ah yes,” the receptionist replies. “It looks like he already has a visitor. If you would be so kind to wait out here till he comes back out. We only allow one visitor at a time for this unit.”

“Of course.” That makes sense, Ennoshita was the one to call emergency services according to Yamaguchi. "I can wait. Would you be able to tell me how he’s doing?”

The receptionist gives a sad sympathetic smile before replying with, “Unfortunately I don’t know anything. I’m just the receptionist.” Asahi gives a nod of understanding before sitting down in a hard-plastic chair. He pulls out his phone to text Ennoshita.

 **Asahi:** How’s he doing? Are the doctors saying he’s going to be okay?  
**Asahi:** You haven’t given me any updates on how he’s doing.

He waits nervously for a reply, giving his mind a chance to calm down, now that he knows he can see Yuu soon. Which brings up the question of why the hospital didn’t call him. Why didn’t the hospital call him once Yuu arrived? He is his boyfriend after all. He approaches the receptionist again to investigate.

“Hey, I was wondering, could you check to see if I’m his emergency contact?”

“What’s his name again?” Asahi gives Yuu’s name again with a bit of annoyance in his voice. He just talked to her less than five minutes ago. How could she forget? He would understand a bit more if she was doing some other paperwork or something, but he is sure he saw her scrolling through Facebook on her phone.

“And your name is?”

“Azumane Asahi,” he almost growls out.

“The record here shows that you are not.”

“Then who is?”

“I can’t tell you that.” Asahi is about say he doesn’t care who she can or can’t tell when his phone buzzes.

 **Ennoshita:** The doctor in the ER told me Nishinoya broke his leg in three places, his arm in one and a few ribs with a mild concussion.  
**Ennoshita:** Didn’t the hospital call you?

Asahi frowns at his screen.

 **Asahi:** No. They didn’t. All I know is that you went in the ambulance with him.

 **Ennoshita:** I did. And then the doctor told me they called his emergency contact, who said he would be there soon.  
**Ennoshita:** Was that not you?

 **Asahi:** No. I just got here.

 **Ennoshita:** Asahi, I’m so sorry!  
**Ennoshita:** The studio demanded I come back as soon as Nishinoya was stable cause we were already behind schedule.  
**Ennoshita:** I honestly thought the hospital called you.  
**Ennoshita:** I should have stayed.  
**Ennoshita:** I should have made sure it was you or someone we knew.  
**Ennoshita:** I am really really sorry Asahi.

Asahi sighs and looks towards the double doors. Yuu wouldn’t want him to take out all his worry and anger out on Ennoshita.

 **Asahi:** It’s okay Ennoshita.  
**Asahi:** I’ll figure it out.

 **Ennoshita:** Again, I am truly sorry.

Asahi turns his attention back to the receptionist. He really needs to know who is in the room.

“Please, I’m his boyfriend. I need to know who is visiting him.” He begs the receptionist.

“I’m sorry. I don’t remember his name.” Of course she doesn’t.

He stomps away and sits back into the cold hard plastic chair to glare at the clock. Wishing this mystery visitor would hurry up so he can make sure his boyfriend is okay.

“Azumane?” He shifts his glare to the receptionist, not needing any more bad news. “I-I called the nurses a-and they said you can visit him.”

“I thought the rule was one at a time,” he says sarcastically.

“I-it is. But they’re m-making an e-exception.” Oh, he nods in acceptance and rushes to the double doors.

“He’s in room four,” the receptionist says before buzzing him in.

The unit is darkly lit, and it takes him a couple of seconds for his eyes to adjust to find the right room. When he does his eyes immediately lock in on Yuu. Who has an arm in a red cast and leg in some kind of immobilization contraption. Bandages wrap around his chest, with tubes and wires coming out of it. But the monitors are beeping, meaning he’s alive, so everything will be okay.

“Asahi! You made it. What took you so long? Ryuu got here half a day ago.” Even as injured as he is, Yuu is still positively energetic. 

“I had to drive halfway across the country Yuu," Asahi says as he pulls up a chair to sit by his side.

“What?! No, that’s not right, we live half an hour away, from the hospital.” Asahi sends Yuu a questioning look. _Why doesn’t he know where he is?_

“Noya, you had an accident on set, which is a good day’s drive away from your house. Asahi got here as soon as he could.”

Asahi’s jaw clenches slightly as he registers Tanaka sitting on the other side of the bed, rubbing circles onto the non-broken arm.

“Oh, yah… you said that, already, before, I went under.” Asahi melts at Yuu’s small voice.

“Yah, I did,” Tanaka says with a pat. “But Bro, a lot happened after I told you. So it’s okay you forgot again.”

Asahi snaps his head up and glares at Tanaka. “What happened?” he growls menacingly. _Why didn’t the hospital call him?_

“One of my, ribs. Punctured, my lung. No big deal Asahi.” Yuu says dismissively. Asahi looks up to his boyfriend in disbelief.

“Yuu! A punctured lung is a big deal!”

“But it’s not, because I’m here, alive, and, perfectly fine. So, all’s well, that ends, well.” Yuu is slightly panting by the end, eyes pinched at the corners.

“Noya, relax! You’re gonna hurt yourself more.” Asahi feels a frown creeping its way onto his face as he watches as Tanaka rub circles onto Yuu’s arm with both hands. 

“I’m fine Ryuu. Asahi, tell this meathead, I am perfectly, fine.” Yuu looks like he’s going to try to jump out of bed to further prove his point.

“You’re right,” Tanaka backtracks, “you’re okay. That’s all that matters.” Tanaka starts rubbing deeper circles into the uninjured arm, getting Yuu to lean back against the pillows.

“That’s all that matters.” Asahi echoes in defeat, he’s not going to argue with his boyfriend while he’s exhausted and injured as he is. “You’re okay, and that’s all that matters.” He starts rubbing circles onto Yuu’s shoulder, being careful of the cast below it.

They watch as Yuu starts relaxing into the touches. Eyes starting to droop till they fall shut. Asahi hears Tanaka let out a sigh of relief a few minutes after Yuu’s breathing evens out.

“Thank g-d he’s sleeping again. Noya’s been talking my ear off since he woke up. The docs are keeping his meds low due to his size, but obviously they don’t know Noya.”

Asahi offers a small smile. Tanaka is really good at this. Keeping Noya calm while injured. He’s actually glad that out of all the other possibilities, it’s Tanaka who is here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Oddly Normal


	4. Oddly Normal (3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has my favorite line of dialogue I have written so far in my writing career.

“Nishinoya! Are you alright?!” Asahi rushes through the Tanaka apartment, eyes darting around frantically for his best friend.

“I’m fine Asahi! Ryuu here is just being over dramatic!”

“We’re in the bathroom! Final door to the left! Noya hold still, I’m trying to make sure you don’t die from infection!” Asahi hears a yelp followed by a hiss of pain.

He makes his way to the bathroom at a slower pace, now that he knows Yuu isn’t actively dying. He ignores the slight trail of blood in the hallway.

Once he reaches the bathroom, he is greeted with the sight of Nishinoya, half-naked, sitting on the counter, bandages covering portions of his face and an arm with Tanaka taping gauze onto the other one. He’s okay.

“What did you do?!” Asahi demands after he takes everything in.

“Miss calculated the density of concrete. But don’t worry, I’ll get it right next time!” Nishinoya sends him a blinding grin that scrunches up the bandage on his cheek and forehead.

“He jumped off a tree, trying to land on the doggy bridge, made of concrete, like it was the best idea since sliced bread.”

“Ryuu,” Nishinoya whines, “that makes me sound like–” he cut’s himself off with a hiss as Tanaka applies antibiotic to his stomach.

“Like a boneheaded idiot that doesn’t know water is wet?” Yuu’s mouth hangs open at the betrayal. “Good, because it’s true. Now sit _still_.” Nishinoya starts to exaggerate his squirming.

“Is there anything I can do?” Asahi interrupts. He really wants to help, but the sight of blood makes him feel faint, and he’s trying really hard not to look at Nishinoya’s red tinged legs.

“Actually, you can. Need you to grab the Advil in the fridge, butter shelf. Forgot to grab it on my way in.” Asahi nods at Tanaka’s orders before exiting the cramped bathroom.

He hears ‘Ryuu, I’m not a newbie, that doesn’t know how to handle– OWW, you did that on purpose!’ as he walks down the hall. Followed by: ‘Whoops. My hand slipped. My bad.’

Asahi can’t stop himself from chuckling at their antics. He cleans up the slight blood trail as well, he doesn’t want to keep looking at it if he has to travel back and forth frequently. He does his best to focus on other things. Such as the framed pictures of the happy couple who live here.

Most of them contain Tanaka and Shimizu smiling at each other like they’re the only ones in the world. A few have Nishinoya and Tanaka being the chaotic duo they are. There’s also a picture of Tanaka and Shimizu as Nishinoya’s guests at a movie premier.

The photo Asahi spends the longest looking at is of the four of them together at a new year’s shrine. The four of them smiling brightly while holding up their newly bought good luck charms. Reminding Asahi the four of them need to hang out again sometime soon.

He returns to the bathroom with the meds and a glass of water.

“Oh look! Your dry water with liquid pills have arrived!” Nishinoya makes a face at Tanaka, sticking his tongue out in the process.

“Noya,” Tanaka whines. Nishinoya crosses his arms, chin tilted towards the ceiling.

“Nishinoya, please take them. For me?” Asahi hates seeing his best friend in pain.

“Okay!” is his happy response. “But only because _you_ asked Asahi.” Tanaka rolls his eyes as Nishinoya gulps down the pills.

“Thank you Asahi! You’re the best! Unlike some people I know...”

“Yah yah, I know, I’m the worst. Now sit _Still_.” Tanaka says as he struggles to place a bandage on Nishinoya’s back.

“Asahi save me!” Nishinoya violently flings himself into his arms. They both end up on the floor.

“Noyaaa.”

Asahi notes Tanaka is sweating even though there is a cool breeze from the AC. But is soon distracted with Nishinoya settling himself into his lap. Butt to thighs, chest to chest, head to shoulder. Asahi thinks it is getting hot in the bathroom.

Tanaka sighs, “Fine, sit there. As long as you _Stay_ _Still_!”

Asahi really wants to speed this process up. The blood is starting to get to him. He starts rubbing circles onto Nishinoya’s scalp to sooth him until the meds kick in.

It works as Nishinoya relaxes into the touches. Giving Tanaka an easier time in patching up his legs and back.

“Done,” Tanaka announces after fifteen minutes. “Thank you Asahi. You can put him on the couch. I’ll join you guys in a minute.”

Asahi carefully takes the sleeping mad man to the living room and gently places him on to the worn-out couch. Nishinoya mumbles a bit at the loss of bodily contact.

Another fifteen minutes go by and Tanaka still hasn’t joined them on the couch. Asahi gets up to investigate.

He finds Tanaka sitting on the floor, head between his legs.

“Tanaka! Are you okay?”

Tanaka snaps his head up and he goes pale for a few seconds before responding.

“Yah, I’m good. Just got a bit dizzy for a moment. Hit my head trying to fish him out from under the bridge.”

“I thought you said he landed _on_ the bridge. How did he get under it?”

“He _tried_ landing on it. As Noya puts it he ‘miss calculated the density of concrete’, so his legs gave out and the momentum carried him over and under.”

Asahi feels bad. He should have noticed earlier that Tanaka was hurt as well.

“I can get you some Advil. The stuff you have seems to work really well. It nocked Nishinoya out super quick.”

Tanaka snorts at that, jerking his head back and then let’s out a soft ‘ow’. He uses the wall to push himself as he replies with:

“You and I both know Noya needs the good stuff to get any relief.” Tanaka manages to position himself so he’s resting against the counter. “The real thing that got him to calm down was your head massage.”

Asahi doesn’t know how to respond to that. He was just doing the trick Tanaka showed him years ago.

“I’ll take that Advil now if you don’t mind. It should work on us mortals.”

Asahi hesitates, not wanting to leave Tanaka alone now that he knows he’s hurting this bad.

“I’ll join you in the living room this time. Promise.”

That’s enough for Asahi to travel back to the kitchen fridge. When he gets to the living room, he sees Tanaka resting next to Nishinoya with his head back and eyes closed.

“Tanaka,” Asahi whispers, not wanting to wake up Nishinoya. Tanaka slowly opens his eyes and takes a while to remember where he is.

“Thank you Asahi.” He takes the offering and sighs in relief. “You know, if I knew he was going to be here I wouldn’t have let him do it. Would have told him to wait till his official practice gym opened, but of course he couldn’t wait.” Asahi knows of Nishinoya’s practice habits. He can’t blame Tanaka for his bad decisions.

“You can drive him home now.” Tanaka gestures towards Nishinoya. “I’ll be okay. Kiyoko will be back soon.”

Asahi shakes his head. “It’s okay. I’ll stay till she gets back.” He looks over to Tanaka when he doesn’t get a response and see his eyes are closed again.

Asahi quietly chuckles to himself. These two really are something special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Silently Screaming


	5. Silently Screaming (10)

Seeing that Yuu is fast asleep Asahi brings up his burning question.

“How did you find out?” he addresses Tanaka.

“Yamaguchi texted me,” Tanaka replies, unfazed, relaxing further into the plastic chair. “And then the hospital called.”

Asahi doesn’t stop himself from glaring at him even though he knows it’s not Tanaka’s fault.

“What!” Tanaka snaps up right, eyes widening. “They didn’t call you?!”

Yuu rustles about in the bed. Asahi automatically starts rubbing circles into his shoulder.

“No,” he harshly whispers, “they didn’t.”

They sit there in the tense silence, waiting for Yuu to settle again.

“So...” Tanaka starts after a few minutes, “how did you find out?”

“Yamaguchi.”

Asahi ignores Tanaka’s continued surprise and focuses on Yuu instead. He internally winces every time Yuu’s breath hitches in his slumber. He should have been here first. He should have gotten the call instead of Tanaka. _Why didn’t they call him?_

There’s a soft knock at the door and Asahi has to tear his gaze away to see who it is. A tall woman wearing a doctor’s badge walks through the doorway with a warm smile on her face. 

“Ah, you must be Azumane. Nishinoya and Tanaka told me you would be here.” Asahi stands up to shake the offered hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m doctor Tachibana and in charge of Nishinoya’s care. How about we take this outside. I see he’s sleeping and don’t want to wake him.”

Asahi and Tanaka nod their heads in agreement. Asahi places a gentle tender kiss to Yuu’s forehead before heading out.

Once outside Dr. Tachibana begins. “To start off Nishinoya is doing extremely well. He is recovering at a great pace and is ready to be moved to a regular unit. As long as he doesn’t move around that much.” She gives a pointed look at Tanaka, who does his best to look bashful at the accusation. Asahi joins the doctor in giving Tanaka a pointed look.

“Okay, so when I arrived in the ER Noya was super excited to see me,” Tanaka starts. “I got him to calm down and lay back down. He dozed off for a bit before jerking awake wondering where you were Azumane.”

_Noya was looking for him?_

“And then he physically gets out of bed this time, almost made it out of the room too before I could pick him up and put him back in bed.”

_It’s Tanaka’s fault. Yuu’s lung got punctured in the transfer._

“As I was placing the blankets on him, he twists out of the way to leave again. That’s when he dislodged his broken ribs, which punctured his lung.” Yuu hurt himself looking for him?

“Now that you are here Azumane I’m hoping Nishinoya will be less reckless.” Doctor Tachibana wraps up.

“I’ll do my best.” Asahi responds, even though no one controls Yuu.

“Good. I already put the transfer in. He should be moved soon.” Asahi and Tanaka nod along.

“Is there anything else I can do?” the doctor offers. Asahi is about to shake his head no when Tanaka speaks up.

“Who are Noya’s, I mean Nishinoya’s emergency contacts?”

“Let me check,” Dr. Tachibana replies. Asahi holds his breath as she searches Yuu’s file. “I only have a Tanaka Ryuunosuke.”

_Why isn’t he Yuu’s emergency contact?_

Asahi is about to let Tanaka know exactly how he feels when Tanaka speaks again.

“Could you add Azumane? He is his boyfriend.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t do that without Nishinoya’s permission.” Asahi frowns at the answer. “Once he wakes up, you can have him ask the nurse to update it with the correct information.” An awkward silence overtakes them.

“If that’s all, I’ll be going now. I wish Nishinoya the best.” Dr. Tachibana gathers her things and leaves to visit her other patients.

“Azumane, I’m sure there was a mix up in the paperwork. Noya would definitely have you listed as an emergency contact.” Asahi ignores Tanaka, who’s done enough. He has a sick and hurt boyfriend to get to.

Yuu is still sleeping semi-peacefully. Asahi can see his breath hitch every now and then before evening out.

He shouldn’t be mad at Tanaka. It’s not his fault the hospital is following protocol. It’s not his fault Yuu didn’t put Asahi as an emergency contact. It’s not Tanaka’s fault for arriving at the hospital before him.

He shouldn’t be blame Tanaka for any of this, but he does, and it makes him feel like a terrible person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Ignoring the Pain


	6. Ignoring the Pain (11)

Asahi and Tanaka don’t exchange a single word as Yuu sleeps. Tanaka has tried a couple of times to address the elephant in the room, but Asahi doesn’t let him.

He’s exhausted. And scared. And wants to leave. He’s never liked hospitals. The constant noise from the millions of machines don’t give his brain any rest. The smell of illness mixed with antiseptics makes his stomach churn. Seeing Yuu looking smaller than he is in the stark white hospital bed brings a sense of hopelessness he hasn’t felt in a long time.

So he doesn’t let Tanaka speak with him about anything because it would be too much. He tells himself it will be okay to put it off or a little bit longer. He tells himself they will address it after Yuu recovers, when he’s more stable.

But really, deep down, Asahi knows he doesn’t ever want to learn the real answer. The unknown is too frightening to even think about. The possible truths terrify him. He isn’t ready to hear the actual answer to his burning questions. So he does his best to maintain the silence in the room. Feeling grateful that Tanaka hasn’t pushed the issue any further.

Yuu wakes up bubbly as ever, about an hour after Doctor Tachibana left. Timing it perfectly with his transfer to his new unit. Before they go a nurse walks in to give Yuu his next scheduled dose of pain medication. 

“Can you rate your pain for me Nishinoya?” The nurse asks.

“About a three.” Yuu replies radiantly. Prompting both Asahi and Tanaka to give him a look of knowing disbelief.

“Ah, I mean, a seven?” Yuu corrects with a sheepish smile. The nurse raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, it’s a five. Is everyone, happy now?”

“If that’s how you really feel, then yes,” the nurse replies while pointedly staring at the two non-patients in the room. Asahi bows his head in shame, he just wants to make sure Yuu isn’t downplaying how badly he’s hurt for their sake.

“What pain medication are you giving him exactly? Cause anything less doesn’t really work on him.” Tanaka brings up before Yuu takes the offered pills. Asahi admits having Tanaka in the hospital with them is helpful.

“Percocet,” the nurse responds. “There’s a special note in his chart that Tylenol and Ibuprofen have little to no affect him. Is that correct?”

“Yup! You need to give me, the good stuff, if you want me to be, pain free!” Yuu half shouts before downing the medication.

The nurse gives the three of them a skeptical look before saying: ‘We’ll be transferring you shortly’ and leaving the room.

Tanaka starts gathering his various items that have magically spread out across the small room. Yuu does his best to find a comfortable position to minimize the inevitable jostling that will occur during the move. Leaving Asahi to try his best not to nod off in his chair, having brought nothing with him in his rush.

“Hey Asahi, you look exhausted,” Yuu points out after Asahi briefly closed his eyes for the fifth time. “Like, more exhausted than me.”

“Noya’s right. You look like shit,” Tanaka pitches in after collecting all of his things. Asahi doesn’t appreciate comments from the peanut gallery.

“Well if you drove for ten hours straight starting around eleven o’clock at night after waking up at six in the morning, to arrive at a hospital to a sick boyfriend you would too,” he snaps back. His rant is met with twin blank stares.

“Wow Asahi, you really are exhausted,” Yuu says to break the tension. “Don’t worry though. You can take a break, from looking after me, when I fall asleep in the new room. They gave me the good stuff. Remember? I’ll be out like a light in no time!”

True to his words Yuu is significantly drowsier by the time they start transferring him to his new room. Asahi can feel Tanaka’s questioning gaze on him the whole way.

Yuu’s new room number is 435. It’s at the end of the hall, away from the busy nurse’s station. There’s even a smaller separate room you have to go through before entering the actual room.

“Alright Noya, you’re in your new room now. The nurse gave you pain medication a while ago that’s gonna let you sleep good for a bit. Asahi and I are gonna to grab a bite to eat while you rest. We won’t leave until we’re sure you’re sleeping. We’ll be back before you wake up though so don’t worry.”

Yuu gives a sleepy hum of acknowledgment. They only have to wait a few more minutes before they hear deep even breaths, queuing them to leave.

“What would you like to get from the cafeteria Azumane?” Tanaka asks as he stretches his arms once they’re in the hallway. “You’ve been up all night. I’m thinking coffee and breakfast. If they’re still serving it at this time.”

_Why does Tanaka keep calling him by his last name?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Impulsively Planned


	7. Impulsively Planned (7)

Daichi and Suga are throwing another reunion party for the volleyball club. Which happens to be conveniently timed with Hinata and Kageyama’s latest volleyball match. Coincidentally allowing everyone to be in the same spot at the same time for it to happen.

He arrives with Yuu, Tanaka and Kiyoko after they spent the day together at an amusement park on a double date. Meaning him and Kiyoko spent most of the day chasing Yuu and Tanaka around the park, so they could ride every ride multiple times. 

It was exhausting, and he didn’t drink enough water all day, so he has a slight headache and all he wants to do is cuddle in bed with Yuu for the rest of the night. But this is the first time in a long time that the fourteen of them could get together, so he isn’t that mad about how the day turned out.

Drinks and pizza are passed around and everyone starts getting a slight buzz. Embarrassing stories and life updates are tossed around like volleyballs. Of course, Kageyama and Hinata turn it a competition to see who could tell the most embarrassing story. Meanwhile Yuu is snuggling and cuddling with Asahi on one of the couches the whole time. And whenever Yuu would get restless Asahi would start rubbing circles on his arms, resulting in Yuu preening at the attention and further snuggling.

As the night drags on Suga and Kinoshita don’t believe everyone is drunk enough yet for the Mariokart tournament and insist everyone needs at least three drinks in order to participate. Yuu perks up at that and joins Tanaka, Hinata and Kageyama in grabbing their drinks, not wanting to be denied access to tonight’s entertainment. Of course, it turns into a challenge of who can finish first.

Ennoshita, Narita, Tsukishima and Kiyoko drink theirs at a steadier pace acting as the referees. Yachi, Yamaguchi, Daichi and himself have to be reassured that everyone will have a cab to take back to their respective sleeping places at the end of the night before joining in.

Asahi takes notice of Yuu becoming clingier as the drinking continues, which is nothing new. He gets even more physical when drunk and will latch onto anything with body heat. Asahi observes him climbing Suga for his fifth drink, and improv dancing with Hinata after his seventh. Making it the perfect time to start their Mariokart tournament.

Tsukishima and Ennoshita don’t participate in the first round due to being the finalist of their last tournament. The rest of them bracket off based of an initial speed round. It goes relatively well, with no overzealous physical sabotaging, until Tanaka and Yuu face off in the second round.

“Eat my pixilated exhaust Noya-san!”

“In your dreams Ryuu! Your cart is going to be so broken from my red shells you won’t have any pixilated exhaust for me to eat!” In the end Yuu gets all of the bad luck with his mystery squares and only got two reds shells the whole race. He pouts as Tanaka crosses the finish line before him. Prompting Tanaka to pull Yuu into his lap. “You’ll get me… next time… Noya,” he says between blowing raspberries along Yuu’s neck.

“Ewww… Ryuu,” he replies between giggles. “You’re… so… gross. Stop it!”

“Yes, please stop it. I have an orange tangerine to defeat.” Tsukishima intervenes. Asahi feels relief when Yuu climbs out of Tanaka’s lap to hand his remote to Hinata.

“I’m going to use the bathroom real quick.” Tanaka announces after he passes his off to Tsukishima.

This is Asahi’s chance. It’s now or never.

He confronts Tanaka in the hallway, away from the others, before he rejoins the group.

“I want you to call me Azumane.”

“What?” Tanaka asks, confusion evident on his face.

“I want you to call me Azumane when it’s just you and me.”

“Are you sure Asahi? Cause I can give you some time to think about it, and you can tell me tomorrow, cause this is all really sudden, and we’re extremely drunk–”

“I’ve already thought about it. I want you to call me Azumane.” Asahi stares down Tanaka. Tension continues to build as Tanaka searches Asahi’s face for answers.

“Okay,” Tanaka breaths out after a while. “Azumane.” They study each other for a moment longer before they’re interrupted.

“Ryuu are you done? Did you fall in?” Yuu is standing in the hallway now, looking at the two of them, head slightly tilted to the side.

“Me fall in? Bro, only short people like you could fall in.”

“Excuse me!” Yuu screeches in offense. “That’s it! Shouyou, I’m gonna help you choose the perfect car to kick Ryuu’s ass. Were gonna show him how mighty us short people are.” They shove each other on their way back to the tournament.

Asahi grabs a beer before leaning in the doorway to observe the final round. Yuu sends him a look across the room, his hands on Hinata’s shoulders to provide encouragement. Asahi chugs the rest of his beer before fixing his gaze on the TV screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Floating


	8. Floating (12)

“Uh, yah. A coffee sounds good.” They take the elevator down to the basement and head towards the cafeteria. The hallways are a bit crowded and Asahi does his best not to bump into people. When he does, he barely registers the physical contact, and whispers an apology. He feels bad about it, but the person is always long before he can do much else about it.

He’s bumped into Tanaka a couple of times to avoid running over others and Tanaka doesn’t mention anything about the accidental physical contact. So Asahi pretends like it never happens.

He hears bits and snippets of other’s conversations but none of it fully processes. Certain words such as ‘accident’, ‘terrible loss’, ‘aggressively advancing’ he hears clearer than others.

When they make it to the cafeteria the noise volume rises, and he lose all track of any conversation. The lights are brighter and more frequent and yet everything stays slightly fuzzy around the edges. He catches a faint whiff of the different foods for offer but the smell of antiseptic overpowers everything making the air feel thick.

He notes they need to get in line quickly before they get any longer and starts walking towards one at random to reserve a spot. He’s stopped by a hand gently grabbing his elbow.

“Azumane, how about you save us a table and I’ll make sure we eat actual breakfast.” Asahi looks at Tanaka in offense and confusion till he realizes he got in one of the lunch lines instead of a breakfast one. He sheepishly agrees and starts looking around for an open table with two seats.

He manages to grab one in the opposite corner of the food lines that is relatively clean and hopes Tanaka can find it when the time comes.

As he waits, he starts thinking about where it all started to go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're officially halfway through :O
> 
> Next Chapter: Look At Me!!


	9. Look At Me!! (6)

Asahi’s sitting at a café, head in hand, gazing at the movie theater across the street.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He looks over at Shimizu sitting across from him, looking as beautiful and graceful as ever. He doesn’t want to ruin the peace, so he shakes his head.

“Common Asahi,” Shimizu says patiently. “We got about another forty-five minutes before their movie ends. I’d rather not spend it in silence like the first half.”

Asahi blushes in apology and ponders if he should bring it up or not. He really doesn’t want to complain now of all times. Especially since Yuu and him have been dating for two years now without an incident.

“This is the third time Yuu’s cancelled our plans…” he says after debating the pros and cons of letting Shimizu know how he feels. She nods along, waiting for him to continue.

“And I said it was okay…”

Because he knew, he knew going into their relationship that this was going to happen. And he told Yuu that it doesn’t bother him, because he understands, while the others didn’t. He promised he wouldn’t be like them.

“But the way Yuu flung himself out of the car to hug him…”

Yet being the one Yuu turned to complain and whine and vent about his problem to, is different than being in the position of those he used to complain about to him.

“And you’re married to him…” he pushes on, pointing to the ring sitting on her left hand.

It would make Asahi a terrible human being to go back on his word. To break the promise he made to Yuu before they started dating. 

“So, how do you do it?” he finishes in defeat. He fiddles with a sugar packet as he waits for Shimizu’s answer.

“Asahi, are you really asking me how I ‘tolerate’ their relationship?” He winces at the cold, blunt truth of her words. It sounds terrible when worded that way. “Because that would be a dick move, especially coming from you Asahi.”

And Asahi feels guilty. He really does, for thinking this way, but he can’t help it. The way Yuu looks at Tanaka and vice versa is something other worldly.

_Why doesn’t Yuu look at him like that? What makes Tanaka so special?_

“It’s true that Ryuu has canceled our plans before because of Yuu,” Shimizu begins after a long pause, startling him out of his thoughts. “But he’s also canceled a lot of their plans to keep his promises to me. I’m sure Yuu keeps the same balance with you.” Asahi nods along because her words ringing true.

Last month Tanaka called asking for Yuu to hang out because they haven’t had a Bro’s Night due to their conflicting schedules. The night Tanaka request was the same night Asahi had already planned a date with Yuu since it was his first break from night filming. And Yuu turned Tanaka down, offering a different date a week later in exchange. Tanaka accepted the new offer and Asahi got to keep his wonderful date with Yuu. 

“And you and I both know they have always been really close, affectionate and loyal to each other. We witnessed it every day in high school with them. This behavior of theirs is nothing new.”

The countless times Tanaka lifted Yuu up in the air after their team meetings. The dozens of movies after practice. Sitting next to each other on every bus ride.

“We don’t have to worry.”

Asahi lets off a soft chuckle at that. He’s glad Shimizu is here to pull him up. Same reliable Shimizu who supported the team so well back in high school.

“You’re right. I’m getting too far into my head again.” Asahi can’t believe he let himself slip like that. Maybe he should start seeing his therapist again to get a refresher on his anti-anxiety and self-esteem exercises; he’s been slipping at work too. “Thank you Shimizu.”

“Kiyoko. You can call me Kiyoko. We’ve been around each other long enough like this by now. I believe the others would agree it's about time you used all of our given names.”

“Ah, okay then. Thank you, Kiyoko.” She gives him a bigger smile. Tanaka really is a lucky guy to have a girl like her.

“Any time Asahi. Let’s go get our two idiots before they decide to terrorize unsuspecting movie goers with whatever they learned from that horror movie.”

Their rescue comes a little too late, because they can hear faint screaming as they approach the movie theater.

Turns out the screaming is coming from them, and not innocent movie watchers. Asahi’s relief is short lived because Yuu almost knocks him over as he jumps into his arms and starts chattering away about how horribly awesome the movie was between pecks around his face.

He looks towards Kiyoko and Tanaka between the pecks and sees them holding each other warmly, in their own world. Their love consuming the air around them.

“Asahi!! Look at _me_!!” He focuses back on Yuu, who has a pout on his face. “How can you look at them when your own boyfriend is terrified out of his mind from the horrible horror movie he just saw?” Asahi raises an eyebrow, yah, Yuu is _really_ traumatized by the C-list horror movie.

“I demand payment for this neglect!”

“What kind of payment?” he chuckles.

“I demand you sleep with me tonight!”

“Yuu, I already do that. We sleep in the same bed every night.”

“Asahi, that’s not the same,” Yuu complains.

“It’s, not?”

“I need you to _sleep_ with me, to replace all of those nightmare inducing scenes.” Asahi buries his head into Yuu’s neck to hide his blush.

“Yuu,” he groans out. Asahi feels Yuu’s laughter against his chest. He peaks a glance at the other couple, who are smiling at him knowingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: The Space Between


	10. The Space Between (13)

“Azumane…. Azumane… Hello? Yo, earth to Asahi!?” Asahi startles at his name.

“Hi, sorry for scarring you and using your given name. You weren’t responding.” Tanaka follows up his apology by setting down two cups of coffee and a bag of McDonalds. Asahi accepts the apology and coffee in one go.

He’s surprised the coffee tastes good. It must be showing on his face because Tanaka starts explaining what he put in his coffee.

“Half milk, four creams and two sugars, right?” Asahi nods in confirmation as he takes another sip.

“Okay, good.”

They eat their very late breakfast in relative silence because hashing everything out here isn’t the best place. It has been a very stressful past twenty-four hours for both of them so now wouldn’t be the best time either.

After their breakfast they take a detour to the gift-shop. Neither of them ready yet to go back. Asahi wanders up and down the aisles, not really paying much attention to the convenient store like items on sale.

He does wander over to the actual gift area of the shop and focuses on the different plushies available. Unfortunately there is no crow one. Him and Yuu have an inside joke to get as many crow memorabilia as possible. It’s silly and childish but fun and exciting way to keep their life interesting.

A kid starts crying and her mother tries to comfort her. “I know you want to get him the yellow teddy bear, but he already has the green one from you.”

“I know,” the girl sniffles. “I know we can’t buy another, but yellow is his favorite color.”

The mother crouches down and hugs her kid. “Okay, I’ll ask if we can exchange them.” They walk over to the checkout line and ask their question. The kid bursting into tears a second time is all the answer Asahi needs before he grabs the yellow teddy bear and runs to the cashier who checks him out quickly. He then runs over to the couple and hands over the bag.

“I overheard your problem and wanted to help. I hope I’m not over stepping.”

The kid lights up and hugs the teddy bear for dear life.

“You didn’t have to do this.” The mother says. Her own tears now running down her face.

“I know. Sometimes when you can’t do anything for the one you love, helping others can make you feel better.”

“Thank you.” The mother brings him into a hug. “Thank you for your kindness.” She lets go and takes her kid’s hand. “Honey, say thank you to the nice man.”

“Thank you, mister. My brother is going to love it.” The little girl gets out between sniffles she is trying to stop. The two leave and Asahi starts looking for Tanaka so they can get back to Yuu.

“You find anything interesting?” Tanaka asks when the find each other in the back of the store.

“No. You?”

“Found their popsicles but none in the flavor Noya likes.” Asahi nods in understanding. Yuu is particularly picky with his popsicles, even though he will eat anything else, besides onions.

They leave the store and make their way back to Yuu’s room and receive confirmation that he’s doing okay and is still sleeping for the time being.

They both grab a seat on either side of him. This time with Asahi rubbing circles onto the unbandaged arm. He wonders where the time went. Wanting to go back to when the three of them got along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Happiness


	11. Happiness (5)

Asahi’s only been dating Nishinoya for almost a year now, but it feels like forever. Because these past few months have been the best he’s had in a while. Nishinoya just makes everything better. Brighter.

Every time Nishinoya looks at him like he’s sun it melts Asahi’s heart, because in actuality it’s Nishinoya who is the sun that lights up the sky.

Currently he’s at the park with his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s best friend. Shimizu unfortunately couldn’t make it, for her had to attend a last-minute trial that she couldn’t let her intern handle. All three of them assured her they will plan another get together to make up for it.

The day has been filled with excitement, and noise and joy; for the weather was perfect and the park not overcrowded. Leaving them plenty of room to run around and pull shenanigans not deemed socially acceptable for their age.

Such as their unconventional frisbee game where each round they add in another ridiculous rule. Such as only being able to catch the frisbee when your feet are off the ground. Another being you can only throw with one hand and catch with the other. If you broke any of those rules the punishments varied from ten one arm pushups to doing the macarena to the chicken dance song.

It was fun and exhausting, and Asahi doesn’t even work out this hard at the gym. He keeps forgetting he can only catch with his right and toss with his left, and he can’t figure out creative ways to keep his feet off the ground for the low tosses. Tanaka is only faring a bit better than him in remembering which job he assigned each hand and catching more tosses with his feet off the ground by faceplanting every other catch. While Nishinoya is easily having an easier time with the benefit of being ambidextrous and a professional stuntman. He cartwheels and glides parallel to the ground to catch their tosses and has no trouble sending out his own with his less dominant hand.

Currently Nishinoya is hanging upside-down out of a tree to catch a toss from Tanaka. And as skilled as Nishinoya is from his current job and past as a libero, he misses the catch. Letting the frisbee hit him in the face, causing him to dislodge from the tree and free fall down.

“Oww. That hurt more than I thought it would.” Nishinoya groans from his new position on the ground.

“Of course it hurt bro, you fell from a tree!” Tanaka says as he runs over.

Asahi reaches Nishinoya first and offers a hand to help him up.

“Thanks Asahi. Who knew catching a frisbee upside down would look different than from right side up.”

Asahi flicks his boyfriends’ ear. He still hasn’t unlocked all the secrets that is Nishinoya’s way of thinking and rationalizing the world.

“Noya, bro, my best friend in the whole universe. How are you still alive?” Tanaka asks semi-seriously, causing Nishinoya to laugh. “No, seriously. How are you still alive with that backwards logic. I really want to know.” Nishinoya frowns and pulls himself up to his full height to glare down his best friend for insulting him in such a way. Asahi chuckles at their current stare off.

The new competition is cut short by the growling of stomachs.

Nishinoya looks away first to chastise his stomach for distracting him. “We’re not done here Ryuu,” he says as he looks back up. “This continues after food.”

“Speaking of which, what are we getting?” Asahi asks.

“Food truck.” Nishinoya replies while pointing to the opposite end of the park. “I heard this one has killer hamburgers.”

“And curly fries to die for,” Tanaka adds.

“Well we better get in line before it gets too crowded then,” Asahi says as he starts walking over.

“No no no.” Nishinoya latches himself onto his arm to stop him. “I’m paying for everyone this time around. You two grab a picnic table before they’re all gone. I got this.”

Asahi is about to argue when Tanaka shrugs his shoulders and walks towards the picnic tables. “You better get me my usual this time.” He says over his shoulder.

“It was one time!” Nishinoya complains while walking in the opposite direction. “And it wasn’t even my fault!”

Asahi laughs as he follows Tanaka to an unclaimed table. Picking up their forgotten frisbee along the way.

“You know he’s going to ask you to use his given name soon.”

Asahi looks across from him in surprise. “Really!?”

“Really,” Tanaka assures him. “And if you ask me, he should have asked you months ago.” Tanaka starts spinning the frisbee around his fingers and then adds: “How long have we known each other now?”

Asahi thinks about it for minute. “About… eight years?”

Tanaka snaps his fingers and points. “Exactly! So it should have been done yesterday.”

Asahi looks over to the food truck and sees Nishinoya walking over, balancing their food in his arms. He would love to start calling Nishinoya _Yuu_ out loud instead of just in his dreams.

“And Asahi.” He turns back to face Tanaka. “When he does, you have mine and Kiyoko’s permission to use our given names as well. The four of us know each other well enough by now it would be weirder not to. You know?”

And Asahi knows so he nods his head in agreement. But calling Shimizu and Tanaka by their given names would be a bit too much for right now. Maybe a bit later, after he gets used to calling Nishinoya, Yuu. Wow. He can’t wait to be able to do that.

“Asahi! Ryuu! You wouldn’t believe this one girl who was in front of me.” Nishinoya says to announce his presence. “I mean her choice in toppings is atrocious!” he continues as he passes around the food.

“Let me guess...” Tanaka pretends to think really hard.

“She picked onions,” Asahi finishes.

“Exactly!” Nishinoya snaps his fingers and points at Tanaka while sitting down in Asahi’s lap.

“I like onions on by burger,” Asahi says to defend the stranger as he picks up Nishinoya to sit adjacent to Tanaka instead. He would let him continue to sit in his lap, but he does want to eat his own onion infested burger without too much trouble.

“But you also have other _normal_ toppings along with it. Such as lettuce and tomatoes and ketchup.” Asahi opens his burger to double check for his onions. “But she only asked for onions!” Nishinoya is now waving his burger around in the air. “Who in their right mind has _only_ onions on their burger!?”

“Don’t know bro,” Tanaka says after shoving some curly fries in his mouth. “But we have known people with stranger food preferences.”

“I know! Like that one guy on the Ferris Wheel last month…”

The two of them start conversing about appropriate burger toppings between bites and Asahi looks at them in awe. They really do have something special. He decides right then and there to only use Nishinoya’s given name when the time comes.

Ryuu is reserved for family and close friends. Maybe after he gets to get to know Tanaka as well Nishinoya does in the upcoming years he will. But for now, he’ll let Nishinoya have that special privilege stay between them to keep their current balance.

And honestly Asahi doesn’t really want anything to change for everything is perfect the way it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Breaking Point


	12. Breaking Point (14)

The buzzing of Tanaka’s phone breaks through their silence.

“Excuse me Azumane.” Tanaka whispers. “It’s Kiyoko, I’ll take it outside. Hey babe… Yah, he’s okay.”

Asahi breaths out a sigh of relief as Tanaka shuts the door behind him.

“Azumane?”

He turns his head and sees Yuu’s eyes glowing along with the monitor lights.

“When did that start Asahi?”

Yuu’s tone is cold, demanding a response.

He briefly debates if he should doge the question in hopes that Yuu will forget he asked, but that technique never worked on him in the past, so it won’t start working now.

“At the reunion party,” Asahi whispers in defeat. “The one Hinata won.” He hopes that will be enough for Yuu to drop it.

It isn’t.

“Who started it?”

Asahi really doesn’t want to answer. The room is overcome by light and he has to blink a few times to adjust. He gets a better look at Yuu, who now sitting up. And Asahi knows the look Yuu is giving him. It’s the one he uses when he’s about to get a critique for his volleyball techniques, or new stunt routines. Bracing him for the truth, even if he won’t like the answer.

“Asahi, who started It?”

He looks away before answering. “I did.”

He waits for Yuu to yell at him. To scream at him for messing up. Instead all he hears is the beeping of the monitors steadily increase.

“I thought that part was a dream.”

He stiffens at Yuu’s whisper.

“We were all drinking really heavily that night, and most of it towards the end was a blur so I thought…”

Asahi doesn’t defend himself. He knew it was wrong when he did it. Knew it was wrong after it happened. And he didn’t fix it.

“And that time before that, after Ryuu and I saw that one horror movie.”

Asahi slinks further into himself.

“And you started going to your therapist again…Ryuu mentioned something about you talking with Kiyoko when I brought up your sessions to him…”

He continues to look at the white floor.

“You told me it was because of work! When really it was because–”

Yuu cuts himself off. Asahi knows he’s supposed to fill in the blank. Knows this is his chance to defend himself. He can’t. 

He hears a small self-deprecating laugh come from Yuu before he whispers, “Fool me once shame on me.” Asahi cringes, keeping his gaze on the floor. “Fool me twice shame on You.”

He snaps his head up at the sudden change in Yuu’s voice. He sees a swirl of hate, betrayal, confusion and hurt in those honey colored eyes.

Asahi opens his mouth several times. Tying to say something, anything to make this better. All that comes out is empty air. Yuu curls in the one leg that isn’t wrapped up to his chest the best he can and turns his head down and to the side.

“Leave.”

“Yuu I’m–”

“Get out!”

Asahi snaps his jaw shut and gets up to do just that. He freezes when he sees Tanaka’s body blocking the doorway.

“You don’t mean that Noya.”

“Yes. I do.”

Asahi looks back and forth between the two friends. The silent conversation between their eyes going over his head.

“No. You don’t. Asahi is the best thing that’s happened for you. He understands–”

“He understood, meaning he isn’t the best for Us.”

“Noya–”

“Asahi!” He jumps as Yuu cuts off Tanaka to address him. “When were you going to start addressing Ryuu as Ryuu?”

“Uhhh…?”

“Noya, not now–”

“Never. Right?” Yuu plows on. “You never did after the thousands of times I asked you, because you were never going to.”

Asahi shrinks into himself. He can feel Tanaka’s shock.

“Because you were never going to see him as an equal. Just like everyone else.” Asahi goes to speak but Tanaka beats him to it.

“Noya, it’s okay. I’m fine with Asahi calling me Tanaka–”

“And you Ryuu. When were you going to tell me about Asahi’s demand to call him Azumane when no one was around?”

Asahi really wants to sink into the ground and disappear forever.

“Never,” Tanaka fires back without skipping a beat, “Because Asahi IS the best thing that’s happened for US. So if me having to call him Azumane when it’s just the two of us? Well… that’s a no brainer.” He watches as Yuu and Tanaka converse again, without exchanging a single word. 

Asahi tries to intervene.

“Um, guys?” He’s never seen them fight like this. He decides he hates it.

“Noya, none of your other partners made you as happy as Asahi does. And yes the others did call me Ryuu when you asked them too, but look how that turned out. So maybe it’s for the best–”

“No. I know you want him to call you Ryuu too. Hell, we’ve all known each other for over 12 years now. Four of them was spent me dating him and asking him, no begging him to call you Ryuu. And nine of those years he’s known of our closeness. So if all of that time together isn’t enough for him to respect you then–”

“Hey! I respect Tanaka. It’s because I respect him that I–”

“No! You don’t! If you really respected Ryuu, and if you really respected me then you would call him Ryuu.”

“I do. I promise. I respect Tanaka.” Asahi pleads with Yuu’s cold, hard eyes.

“Then do it. Right now. Call Ryuu Ryuu.”

“Noya, please… this isn’t necessary.”

Asahi knows what he needs to say to make it better. To start fixing the mistakes he made years ago. But he can’t, so he says nothing.

“Thought so. If you aren’t going to call Ryuu Ryuu, then you can’t call me Yuu.”

Asahi feels his lungs caving in on themselves as the hospital goes silent.

“Now get out.”

“Noya! Wait, please, let’s talk about this–”

“Get OUT! Both of you!”

They take Yuu’s words as their final command. Asahi shuts the door quietly behind him as Tanaka slides down to the ground next to it.

The door isn’t thick enough to muffle the cries Yuu is already shoving into a pillow.

It wasn’t supposed to go this way. The three of them aren’t supposed to be yelling and fighting with each other while one of them is hospitalized. It’s all wrong.

“I honestly thought he was asleep and wouldn’t hear it.” Tanaka says in defeated shock.

Asahi risks a glance downward to see Tanaka stare at the wall in front of him and looks quickly away in same.

He hears Tanaka whisper, "I hoped…I didn’t – don’t want this to be like the others."

Asahi did promise he wouldn’t be like the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ow (hope you were able to follow the dialogue)
> 
> Next Chapter: Understanding


	13. Understanding (4)

“Asahi,” Nishinoya whines at him one night at the bar. “Why don’t they understand? They think because I’m not romantically dating him, or fucking him, he’s less important to me?! And I have to hold him to a lesser value than them, because of THAT!?” 

Asahi has heard this rant over 14 times in the past four years.

“I’m DATING them! I want a sexual and romantic relationship with THEM!”

It’s happened every time.

“But when Ryuu joins us for a movie, or a day at the park, or for dinner…”

They see Nishinoya and Tanaka constantly hanging off of each other. The body slam hugs and frequent touches.

“They give me The Ultimatum Every G-d Damn Time!”

They notice how Nishinoya prioritizes Tanaka over his other friends, and panic.

“And then they leave. Every. Single. Time. They’re the one who leaves…because…”

They lose sight of how Nishinoya looks at them like they’re the sun.

“Because they don’t understand,” he sobs out.

And all Asahi can do now is comfort him, like he has 14 times before.

“But you understand, right Asahi?”

Nishinoya and Tanaka have Always been close. Have Always been physically affectionate. Holding nothing back. Asahi knows this.

“If only they were more like you.” Nishinoya throws back a shot and then orders another. “Then I wouldn’t have to go through this again.”

Asahi doesn’t want Nishinoya to go through this again. He shouldn't have to keep searching for the one who would understand. The person who understands should just show up already so Nishinoya can be happy. 

“Date me,” Asahi says before Nishinoya takes his next shot.

Nishinoya looks at him like he’s grown two additional heads.

“Date me… because I understand. And I love you, I’ve always have, really. Even if I never really showed it before, I do. Love you.” Asahi waits for Nishinoya’s answer after his word vomit. Looking nervously into Nishinoya’s wide eyes full of surprise and hope.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Asahi replies confidently. “There won’t be a fifteenth time, I promise.”

“Asahi…” Nishinoya crawls into his lap, right there at the bar, and starts trembling in his arms, tears rushing down his face, crying.

Except this time, it’s from relief, and joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Lost


	14. Lost (15)

“But I guess I was wrong.” Tanaka continues as he tries to cover up his sniffles.

Asahi dares another glance at the man crying on the floor and regrets it immediately. Tanaka’s eyes are red, and puffy and tears are streaming freely down his face.

Asahi wants to make it better. He wants to comfort Tanaka and say: ‘It’s not your fault.’ He wants to storm back into Yuu’s room and have him hear him out. He wants to curl up into a small ball and weep himself. He wants to skip forward to when Yuu’s all healed and they can return to their normal life. He wants to go back to before any of this happened.

He knows he needs to do something. To say anything to set things right.

But he can’t do that. He doesn’t know how to do that. He doesn’t know what to say.

All his words have left him.

“I just don’t get it.” Tanaka’s voice is scratchy now. “He said you understood.”

Asahi looks away when Tanaka lifts his head to look back at him.

“He told me you were the one, after all this time because you understood.”

And he did. Asahi told Yuu he understood. He did understand because he was there. The whole time. For everything. From the very beginning.

Never wavering on his stance on being on Yuu and Tanaka’s side after each breakup. Because he understood. Because Yuu told him – one evening after another breakup – why he would never, could never date Tanaka. That it will never happen between the two of them.

And it made perfect sense. It was so logical, the way Yuu put it.

Asahi couldn’t believe no one else got it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Soulmate


	15. Soulmate (2)

“Nishinoya, why aren’t you dating Tanaka?”

Nishinoya looks at Asahi with a confused look.

They’re at a bar, early in the evening, before the night rush. Nishinoya going through his third break up since he started actively dating after high school.

“That’s a silly question Asahi! Why would I date Ryuu?”

“Well…” Asahi doesn’t exactly know how to put it, “The reason why everyone broke up with you is because of Tanaka right?” That’s what he gathers from these post-breakup get togethers. Nishinoya continues his look of confusion.

“And Tanaka sorted his thing out with Amanai, so…”

It was a mutual break up between the two of them. Both agreeing that Amanai felt she needed to thank Tanaka on a deeper level for helping her gain so much confidence in herself. Tanaka being the nice guy he is accepted to date, and it went really well. But not what they both needed. They still talk frequently.

“Now would be a good time to ask him out. You two are already close. Dating wouldn’t be that big of a step.” Asahi finishes. Noya bursts into laughter.

“You think… I should… date Ryuu… because he’s single now?!” Noya gets out between bouts of laughter. Asahi doesn’t think it’s that funny of a notion. They are already best friends. Tanaka and Nishinoya dating wouldn’t be that much of a stretch.

“I can’t date Ryuu. It’s not allowed.” Nishinoya says, wiping tears away from the corner of his eyes after he’s calmed down.

“Why? Did Saeko say something?” Asahi doesn’t think Saeko would ban Nishinoya from dating her little brother. In fact, he is sure she would encourage it. Nishinoya motions to get another drink.

“No.” 

“Then why can’t you date?”

“Because, we’re soulmates!”

Now Asahi is more lost than when they started. “Aren’t you supposed to marry your soulmate?”

“Not this kind of soulmate Asahi.” Nishinoya explains, like he’s is stupid. “We’re soulmate friends. No dating allowed.” He makes an X with his arms for emphasis.

“So… You can’t date him because you’re best friends?”

Why can’t Nishinoya speak plainly?

“Asahi, aren’t you listening? Ryuu and I are _Soulmates_. One soul simultaneously living in two bodies. _You’re_ my best friend. And I’m supposed to marry the person who is my other half.”

Asahi still feels lost. “And Tanaka is okay with it?”

“You bet!” Nishinoya throws back his shot. “Okay, now that that’s is cleared up. You have to help me set up Ryuu and Kiyoko. I was thinking…” Asahi lets Nishinoya ramble on. When Nishinoya uses that kind of logic it makes sense. The one shared soul with Tanaka thing.

“Yo! Asahi are you even listening to me?!”

“Yes, yes. You want to get Tanaka and Shimizu together.”

“Right! Sooo as I was saying…”

Asahi looks at his best friend. That’s right. He is Nishinoya’s best friend. And Tanaka is Nishinoya’s Soulmate. And Nishinoya is trying to get his Soulmate, Tanaka, the girl of his dreams.

It all makes perfect sense.


	16. What Now? (16)

“So why?” Tanaka starts pleading with him **. “** What changed? Really? What did we do wrong this time? Please, Asahi? What happened?”

And Asahi can’t put it into words. The feelings he got when he saw them together after he started dating Yuu. His feelings towards Yuu. His understanding of all Yuu’s exes now that he is on the other side.

So he looks away once again. Focusing the door that will lead them into the hallway. Hoping it has all the right words written on it for him to say. The door doesn’t have any written answers.

Instead it opens and Kiyoko walks through, and Asahi feels the stupidest he has all day. Because Kiyoko got it. She understood while everyone else didn’t. She never wavered in her understanding. She never batted an eye, nor questioned their behavior, or asked them to cut it off. Never gave the ultimatum. Because she understands and lets them be while making sure her own voice is also heard.

And that’s what Asahi has to do now. He has to talk this out, all of it, between the three of them. He needs to make things right so they can all move forward.

**Author's Note:**

> Over 11,000 words later... this defiantly isn't a short one shot. Nor is it simple. My bad :( 
> 
> I thank each and every one of you for following this to the end. I hope you liked it!
> 
> [tumble](https://rayofsun936.tumblr.com/)


End file.
